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Starfish Trelawny Traveler Review :: "Trelawny starfish is junk"

Re: Trelawny starfish is junk - by: lorne Caplan
I'm shocked that it's still open. Here's my review and I agree with everything you said.

I and my wife were initially excited to go to Jamaica as we are fans of the Caribbean and it was a much needed week of relaxation. The flight over from Florida was uneventful, but the signs that this island is in much need of cultural and societal "improvement" hit us as soon as we arrived at the airport.
Just as we got thought the customs we were accosted by a group of at least half a dozen men looking to help us with out bags, which we didn't need. One fellow just took our bags and we had no choice but to follow him to our waiting bus from Trelawny. The last thing, by the way, that Trelawny did right.
After a pleasant drive to the site, we noticed that the all-inclusive was a little rundown, even though it was supposed to have had a facelift.
We were greeted with rum drinks and sat in the lobby which was clean and the other couples were nice, so it seemed that besides the rush for a tip at the airport, the experience would be great (we were told we should just "enjoy" the special nature of the islands hospitality... uh-huh...). We waited for a reasonable amount of time (30 minutes) and were escorted to our room in the tower. It was quite plain, but we were there to enjoy the sun, the beach and ourselves, so no matter. We explored the pool, which was clean but not special. The beach was beautiful and we ended up staying there. When almost immediately, we were being summoned to buy some "toot" and accosted by beach sellers of trinkets so there was little chance of relaxing. We decided to go to the buffet and since we were hungry, I went for the beef. My wife joked that I should go with the local food and I said that I saw some cows (although I did, they looked like they were starving!).
The rest of the day was uneventful, relaxing and we enjoyed some of the other people at the bar and restaurant. The service was what I guess is typical. With little affect, seemingly doing us a favor and always with the hand out. Thinking that it was all inclusive, I wasn't expecting disappointed looks and angry faces when no tips were forthcoming and I experienced the same tracking, when we charged the meals to our room that another visitor wrote about.
The next day, we took a day trip and ended up in Mo-Bay (Montego Bay). Instead of staying with the bus, we asked a young tracker to point us to a grocery store, since we found the food awful and the white sediment at the bottom of the water at Trelawney, distasteful. So why not buy some groceries, fresh fruit and vegetables? Well, the boy, who may have been 5'3" tall and perhaps 12 years old, stuck to us like glue until we got to the grocery store, which was what I expected to be a typical run down urban Caribbean store. Crowded, loud and without air conditioning. We picked up some vegetables and fruits, paid for them and could not wait to get back to the bus some five blocks away. Well, the little boy now made it clear that he wanted to be paid for his "service". I looked at my wife and gave him the change we had and he slapped it out of my hand and started swearing at us. Just a that point, I noticed an older man across the street shouting out at us with a chortle that we should watch that boy! He's no good! While the older man was standing near a cart that had "White killers" written on it's side.
Great, I and my wife thought. We were going to get mugged by an old man and a 12 year old boy on what was supposed to be a relaxing vacation in Jamaica! So we started to pick up the pace and made a bee-line for the bus where the boy was cursing at us, and yelling that he was going to kill us. The bus driver did nothing (probably enjoyed seeing a couple of tourists getting abused by a twelve year old) and just as we got on, he spit on us. Needless to say, I knew we had no friends in Jamaica, so to go after the boy was senseless and probably would end us up in a Jamaican jail, so we just sought the safety of the bus and the other "resort" passengers. Most were troubled that the driver did nothing even leaving the door open, but the boy didn't come on, he did remain screaming at us outside the bus for what seemed to be an hour, but it was probably more like 15 minutes as we waited for the other passengers.
As much as I would have thought we would recover from that "experience" we were both quite shaken and it most certainly colored the rest of our stay. We got back, waited to get off the bus after what seemed like hours on the bus and went to the room to dress for the beach. The rest of the day was OK as we shooed away the beach sellers. The water was warm and clear and the staff were disinterested enough to let us recover. We didn't tell anyone of the staff what happened, since we guessed they wouldn't care and there was nothing that they could do at this point.
Figuring that we would need some special time, we booked the Dunn's falls for the next day, ate and drank the evening away and actually enjoyed the fall's (which are beautiful) but were somewhat surprised at allowing people to climb them (a couple fell and got injured) with no training or safety precautions. That took the better part of day three and being famished, we went to the snack bar and I had a hamburger (big, big mistake), with some white powder laden water. Usually, I have an iron stomach, having traveled all over the world with few stomach related experiences. This time, I was done for. Within the hour, I was curled up in a ball, throwing up and in intense pain. I had seizures from what was likely food poisoning and the nurse on staff was indifferent, giving my wife some Tylenol and Imodium after some three hours of pestering, calls on the phone and signing consent forms. We asked for a local doctor and were promised one within the evening, but nobody appeared. At that point, we had enough of the islands hospitality, bad food, indifference and I was certainly in no condition to have any "fun", so my wife called the airport, our travel agent and the front desk in a desperate attempt to cancel our trip and fly back to Miami. I must give my wife credit. She was ignored, told to call back and the hotel representatives did everything they could do to dissuade her, but she stuck to it and insisted we were leaving and she was able to get an American Airlines flight out the next day. Packed us up and fought off what she called a mutant cockroach in the bathroom, screaming bloody hell at it while I was curled up writhing in pain on the bed.
The next morning, day four of what was supposed to be a seven-day vacation, the hotel representative came bye with the nurse in the morning to check on me. I had stopped vomiting and was now very weak and dehydrated. They seemed more interested to see if I was faking rather than checking if I was getting better. As we were on our way out to the bus for our ride to the airport, I slept on the bus, my wife carrying our bags with little help from anyone. It seemed as though they were angry at us for leaving, but all I could think of was good riddance. I couldn't wait to leave.
We felt some sense of relief once we checked in at the airport. No more; "you want some toot?", "White killers" being harassed on the beach, bad food, poor water quality, bugs the size of dogs, angry, indifferent staff and people and of course our little boy guide. As we were sitting and waiting to board, we had a representative from the hotel show up asking for us. We figured they would be offering us the refund for the portion we hadn't stayed, or at least an apology, which we never got. Instead, they were there to check to see if I was actually still sick, which I was, taking in only water, frail and exhausted as my wife now was from her frantic search to get us out of there and back to Florida where I could recover and get checked by a doctor. That was enough to make us never want to go back and recommend to anyone interested in Jamaica to look at so many of the beautiful islands of the Caribbean, with much better food and citizens that are grateful, thoughtful and courteous to their tourist trade. To go for the beach and the ganja or toot. Well, that's up to the traveler, but we'll never go back and always be ready to tell the story of the boy and the white killer in Mo-bay.

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